I was made a mother at the age of 23. At that time life was still a fairytale to me. I pictured my life consisting of waking my family up with the smell of homemade baked pies every Sunday morning, making all homemade baby food picked from a garden that I tended to daily, and planning for holidays months in advance. In reality, I found myself divorced and all alone with a baby by the time Madelyn was two years old. I grew up always dreaming of becoming a mother and dreaming of the fairytale life that most women dreamt of; finding a loving husband who would be your first and last love and raising a model family that you see in movies with picket white fences. What I got was the complete opposite. What I got was real life.
There wasn’t a particular moment that made me realize that I couldn’t do it alone. I think that message came to me gradually because for a long time, I still tried to do it alone, even though help was just a phone call away. The stubborn 23 year old me was still holding onto the thought that to be a good mother, I needed to do it all. I need to show my daughter that I was all that she needed.As time passed, the responsibilities of raising a child when I was a child myself became harder and harder. I found myself crying from the stress of working full time and doing everything alone without any help. After seeing me struggle for so long in misery, my parents finally insisted that I let them help and thankfully, I listened.
Letting go of unrealistic ideas was something I struggled with and because I held on so tightly to those expectations, it was really hard to let others in. My parents started to help me with picking Maddy up from daycare everyday and watching her till I got home. This simple task alone became such a lifesaver for me. Little by little their roles became larger and larger in Maddy’s life and mine.I am so glad that I accepted the help that was offered to me because the relationship between my children and my parents is the most beautiful thing that I get to witness. Their love for one another is remarkable and something that I could never give my children alone. Accepting that it takes a village is a lesson that took a while for me to learn, but in the end, it has become one of the most valuable lessons in my life. I think in life we all strive to be the best versions of ourself for our children but sometimes we fail to realize that the best version of ourselves can only derive from the help of others.
I was lucky enough to be asked by Ana of Lucky Penny Blog to be apart of a monthly series called #TogetherWeMother. Each month a new topic will be picked and we get to share our thoughts and experiences with our audiences. As mothers, our roles are so vital and with that, the responsibilities and burdens can be heavy to carry. The idea of this series is to offer each other support and love in knowing that we don’t have to do it alone. In solidarity we can find strength. I invite you to visit the participating mother’s involved in this series and read about their own experiences because #TogetherWeMother.
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