“Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” – John Wilmot
While we don’t have 6 children, this quote couldn’t be more spot on for my little brood! I grew up with just a younger brother and we had an age gap of 7 years so I remember my childhood being very quiet and quaint. We hardly faught or got in each other’s way, but that could also be because we didn’t have a whole lot in common. I always thought that when it was time have a family of my own, raising kids would be as easy as how I remembered mine was. My husband and I would be able to still maintain our pre parenting lives to some extent, and the kids would all just play merrily together. This is where I *insert the screeching hault!*
In this months installment of our #TogetherWeMother series, the topic focuses on how parenting has change our relationship with our partners. In our experience, parenting presented a lot of challenges for us as a couple. Because we are a blended family, both Mel and I came into it with our own pre-established set of parenting styles so finding a common ground was an added obstacle for us. It took a lot of adjustments, and although we still have our disagreements, I think that I can confidently say that we’ve found our rythym.
Before we moved to Vegas for Mel’s work, we were living in Tucson, AZ near my family and lots or friends conveniently close when we needed help. Now that we’re in a new city with no close relatives around, it’s been a lot harder for us to balance the responsibilities of parenting while still trying to give equal attention to our relationship. Parenting has really taught us to work together as a team and more importantly, to really listen and be considerate of one another. While we aren’t able to just pick up and have a spontaneous date night or skip town for a weekend getaway like we use to, we still try to make an effort to go out once or twice a month. Even if it’s just to go see a movie or to dinner, those datenights do so much good for us as a couple.
Raising our girls is the biggest responsibility that we have and it requires so much from each of us but it has also brought Mel and I a much deeper sense of appreciation for one another. Its absolutely true when they say that having kids will change everything, and boy has it! Change doesn’t always have to be for the worse. With a lot of patience, good communication, and empathy for your partner, it can create the deepest bond with your partner that is incomparable. I know in my case, I definitely couldn’t imagine me doing this gig with anyone else! For any soon to be or new parents reading, my one advice would be to remember to treat your relationship as if it’s another child. Give it the same patience, attention, and dedication as you would your new baby because one of the best things you can ever teach your kids, is the importance of a HEALTHY relationship! Your relationship with your partner will be the benchmark example for what they’ll seek in their own relationships. Set the bar high!
For more on this months topic, please visit my co-writers blogs and read up on all of their own personal experience!
Sometimes Sweet | Lucky Penny | Kikhaly
Cosmic American | Household Mag. | Chrissy Powers